Boundaries are for YOU

I'm in my 40's, and not setting healthy boundaries throughout my life has caused more heartache and chaos than I ever imagined. Looking back, I can see how differently many situations could have unfolded if I had understood what healthy boundaries really were. If this post helps even one person understand what a healthy boundary is and why it matters, then I've accomplished what I set out to do.

First, boundaries are for you! A universal example I will give you is this: If you are dating someone and you say, "never cheat on me, or I will be done with you forever," and they reply, "I would never do that to you," that is not a boundary—it is a request. A boundary isn't the words you say to someone else; it's the commitment you make to yourself.

How many people do you know who have been cheated on and stayed? Have you ever said something like that to your partner, had them break their promise, and still remained? If so, your boundary wasn't broken—it was never enforced. Boundaries are not about contolling someone else's behavior. They are about deciding what you will and won't accept, and following through when those limits are crossed.

Boundaries are for you. If you set a boundary, it should be followed by a clear course of action—what you will do if that boundary is crossed. Then, honor that commitment. Make that promise to yourself, and respect yourself enough to follow through. A boundary only has meaning when your actions align with the words you've spoken.

Boundaries are to protect you. They can guard your peace and keep unhealthy people from invading your space. Boundaries help you stay grounded, protect your mind, body, and spirit, and create a healthier environment for your life and relationships. If you are a spiritual person, I want you to know boundaries are biblical. Throughout Scripture, we see examples of wisdom, discernment, and healthy separation from harmful influences. Setting boundaries is not selfish; it is a form of stewardship over the life, peace, and well-being God has entrusted to you. Proverbs 4:23 2 Timothy 3:1-5